What if we think more optimistically?

Would that just be living a lie? or will it help?

I have and still am changing for the better so maybe you could do your part as well?

Thanks.

"I’m starting to forget what I really want. Because all that ever matters to me is what YOU want." -c.Do

What if I feel like you are holding me back?

Suppose you are right about how our age difference does affect our relationship.
I am 20, ready to explore what's around me and try new things.
You are 24, still figuring things out but knows what you like and dislike.

Sometimes I feel like my "fun" does not entertain you. As corny as this sounds, I want to search deep within me to find where I am at. I guess I am, "young and restless." Yes, I make foolish decision just to have fun and just to have some trouble in my life but I like that better rather than being safe and secure about everything. Yes, I am indecisive but that's because I want to weigh out my options and I consider other's likes and dislikes. Yes, I waste my money but I'm learning to stop my urges and save. Yes, I am too friendly but that is how i've been brought up to be.

I feel like you expect me to become this woman that you see but I am not there yet. Therefore, I am stuck in wanting to let loose and go wild and crazy but I am also restraining myself from "embarrassing" you. I apologize for being a frivolous young woman but I want to experience things before I have to "grow up."

Maybe you are right, I just don't want to lose you. I'm not sure if I can handle the thought of breaking up with you because of our age difference.

What if I miss going to the city to take pictures with you?

Doesn't that make you feel disconnected? I make me feel that way.

I wasn't implying that you need to take me there on a weekly basis. I felt that I was the only who was craving a long walk through the city with my camera. I am supposed to use this time to figure out what I want to do with my life and taking pictures helps me figure things out. My camera is my creative outlook. When my creative needs aren't being met then I don't feel like myself.

Something is wrong. Especially with us because is what brought us together.

Don't get mad at me for wanting to go shooting. I'm not asking you to buy me a purse or a pair of heels or a fancy dress that I will never wear, I just want to spend time with you doing what we do best.

What if we don't make this happen?

I have come to the conclusion of you being the one who needs to be open to change. I have been adjusting my attitude and mannerisms to make our relationship grow into the right direction. However, it seems like you don't see nor appreciate my hard work. You seem to ponder and dwell on our past arguments rather than enjoy the good times and good laughs we had.

You have been the best boyfriend. I am not complaining because all you do is take care of me and treat me right but there are instances where we have our differences. I am open to adjustments, but are you?

If we don't work things out, I will not date any guy until I have fully figured myself out. Thank you for being patient with and thanks for all the help and advice. I wouldn't be this strong young woman if it weren't for you.

ps, I'm not giving up on us but you're not giving me a reason to be in this either. We'll see how this goes Monday.

What if I don't believe in love again?

Was this just a waste? Do you not see my potential?

Have you forgotten about the girl you "fell in love with"? Does she not mean anything anymore?
Do her flaws overtake her attributions and personal corrections she does for you?

I suppose we will just wait until Monday or Tuesday for the final verdict.

ps, I don't want to mope around about this but its hard to enjoy yourself when the person you "loved" might not feel anything towards you anymore. That information just sucks. FML

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

What if I just want to call to see where we're at?

I mean you are not responding to my text. I understand your side and I apologized so why are you still mad? I am trying not to let this bug me and point fingers at you because it was only three calls.

Does think metaphorically show how important I am to you? I am your girlfriend, that doesn't mean you have to cater to my ever need but it does mean something. Doesn't it?
All I want to know is either you are: still upset or it's fine, just don't constantly call while I'm gaming?

ps, I'm sure every girlfriend wants to say goodnight to their boyfriend before they go to sleep.

What if we can't communicate properly?

Obviously we both cannot read each other's mind so I think we should practice vocally expressing our thoughts clearly. If you told me that you had a long day and that you want the night to yourself then I wouldn't have called you three times.

Just three times?! I've done worse before but I've refrained myself from bothering you. So if calling you three times is like a sore pimple in your nose then I am not sure if we are doing this right. I don't think I could go on about this relationship if it is me who is making the personal adjustments to satisfy you and make you happy.

Why should I let you in when you push me out? Communicate with me. Please?

What if I called you at this very moment?

Would you be happy to hear from me? Would you greet me with "Hey Babe! How was you day? How are you doing?" Would you be willing to pause your game for at least two minutes just so I can say hi to you?
*sigh
I could only hope to imagine...

No, apparently you would be too caught up in your game to see how I am doing. You'd rather spend the whole day at home and your whole night on the xbox than reply to my texts. Sorry if i can't help wanting to know about your day and if we are going to hangout tomorrow. I guess calling you three times while you were gaming crossed the line. Oh man, I am such a bad girlfriend for wanting to say goodnight and see you tomorrow. Well, I was also secretly hoping that calling you a third time would register in your head that, "Oh man, I haven't talked to her the whole day. Maybe I could spare 2-5minutes on the phone with her."

I suppose it was too much to ask. So now, do I call you because in my fantasy world you would accept my apology and check up on how I've been doing or do I resist the urge of calling to save myself from another reason for you blame me according to my actions?